There's Hope

Micah 7:7 states: “But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will heal me.”

This morning when I read this verse I put my Bible down, got down on my knees and mediated on this scripture. Then I prayed, “Lord, please help me to come to you with all my concerns. Don’t let me voice my hurts to anyone other than You. I’ve learned that I must be extremely careful in speaking to anyone about anything. I’ve always felt that because I did not have any malicious intent in my heart that I was always free to speak truth, but now I see that is not correct and I apologize. Then I remembered something I read over two decades ago, ‘Saying something simply because it is true is like giving poison to a healthy body believing it will survive.’”

When I’m on my knees before the Lord I always ask Him to show me, no matter how much it hurts me, whatever it is he wants me to correct in order to have a godly character so that my life can glorify Him. He has been very compassionate because He only reveals one thing at a time. Praise Him. I could not have handled knowing everything when I first asked this question 25 years ago while attending The Brooklyn Tabernacle Church.

After I asked the question, Proverbs 16:28 came to mind. I read it and meditated on it. (“A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.”) I said, “Lord, I’m not a gossip. I don’t say anything about anyone that I haven’t said to the person, and you know I’m not perverse. I lead a transparent life. You know that I do. Then I heard the still small voice. (It’s wonderful when we train our ears to hear God’s still, small voice above the din of daily living.) This is what I heard, “No Janet, you are not gossip and you are not perverse but you talk too much and you have talked to some of the wrong people. Talk to me. I’ll tell you what to do and say and I’ll be with you in the midst of your problems. Some of the people to whom you have spoken are gossips and they have repeated and distorted things you’ve said. Does the fact that you had no malicious intent make you innocent? No! You provided the wood for the fire.”

For weeks I thought about this. I spoke only with people that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I could trust. Then I went back to the Lord, got down on my knees and said, “Father I love to talk (not gossip, talk). Are you telling me not to speak?”

I prayed and fasted from talking to people for weeks. I didn’t even talk to Lourine, or Gloria, or Jean. I said Father, if you want me to remain silent; I’m willing to do this if it’s what you want me to do.

A few weeks passed. I went to the laundry (my favorite one, Bubbly Bobs on 7th Avenue between 123rd and 124th Streets). I didn’t talk to anyone. A woman smiled at me, I smiled back fighting the urge to strike up a conversation. She started talking to me. By the end of the conversation, I was invited to speak at her son’s church in Queens.

Several days later I received a telephone call from a pastor who had read my book, “The Power of Hope.” He wanted me to speak at his church and to sell copies of my book. When I went to his church, in addition to selling all of the books that I had brought with me, the producer of a radio show came over to me and asked me if I’d let her interview me.

Then as a result of a “Love Express” article, the Single Parent Ministry at Refuge Temple asked me to be the keynote speaker for their first annual conference. Several more speaking engagements resulted from that event.

When I arrived in my apartment after speaking at Refuge Temple, I got down on my knees to thank the Lord and the still small voice said, “Now I can use you.”

There’s more, I went to a meeting and a pastor who heard about my book and its contents told me that he thought I would be an excellent chaplain. He referred me to someone who called me, sent an application and scheduled an interview. I provided references. They were people who I knew loved me, but would also be truthful and tell the good, the bad and the ugly.

Long story short, I’m now training to become a chaplain. I didn’t want to drag out the process so I’m on the fast track. I’ll be finished in August. I could use all of your prayers.

Finally, I asked God if there was anything else that He wanted me to do. Over the course of a month, the answer came so I am using this column to apologize to any and everyone who my direct or indirect words have hurt.

I got down on my knees and said, “Lord, what about those people who have lied about things I’ve said and tried to harm me. The answer, as confirmed by several scriptures, was clear. That’s God’s concern not mine.

Therefore, I ask your forgiveness if my words have harmed or hurt you.

Thank you Jesus that you are still in the sanctifying business. Although it hurts sometimes, please don’t stop showing me how I can be more like you.

Janet Avery, PhD, New Hope, 2230 Frederick Douglass Blvd., 1st Floor, New York, NY 10027 or Newhope16@verizon.net